What You Got - Stories behind my 1st album

 

1: Bring Him Down

“Why does it always take a pastor from overseas for us to see the Holy Spirit move in this place,” I wondered, challenging the two ladies I was having a conversation with about the state of the church, about two years ago. “Don’t we all have access to the same Spirit?”

I hadn’t realised it, but my frustrations were burning deeper as the days went by. I’d been spiritually starved for a long time. My zeal to serve had diminished over time, and my anger was evolving into resentment towards my church leaders. It was a steady and gradual descent, from stepping down from the choir for the rest of the year, to not being a part of the Christmas play I always loved acting in, and not attending cell anymore.

The worship during Sunday services was as awesome as always. The lights were beautiful, the sound was on point, and the vocals were ever melodious and harmonious. But I’d still leave feeling dry inside, and missing the days when the Spirit would break my heart while singing to the Lord and have me bawling and snorting like a big baby (Something I came to terms with and had no choice but to stop being embarrassed about).

The sermons were as informative as they could be and delivered well, with charisma, and organized with excellence. However, they felt like lectures and I couldn’t find anything relatable. I longed for the days I used to hear God speak to me clearly through my preachers on Sundays, and affirm, validate, encourage and also challenge me to keep seeking Him for renewal and transformation. I had to rely on Bishop TD Jakes who was thousands of miles away to be edified, and also my morning devotions, which were such a trip because it all required discipline and consistency.

It all made sense when a pastor from overseas visited, and preached every evening for a week. I felt and saw the Spirit move in a way not only me, but also many others had been yearning for, for a long time. The altar calls were quickly responded to on knees, with tears, desperate cries to God, and divine encounters with Him. Every single person who took the step forward experienced God according to their specific spiritual needs. Chains were broken and spiritual healing was received. Breakthroughs were declared and spiritual baptisms took place.

And so the questions began, “Why does it take a pastor from overseas for us to witness the Holy Spirit move in our lives, and those around us?” I slowly came to realise, through conversations with a close friend, that without the Holy Spirit, we can still have Church, we can still have an excellent service, we can still deliver God’s Word superbly, we could still always quote scripture. But, we can still miss out on God’s divine power at the same time. We can miss out on life-altering, mind-renewing, soul transforming revelations that only the Holy Spirit can reveal (1 Corinthians 2:10) through prayer and communion with Him.

I realised that we can’t make an impact by simply going through church motions, our feelings, our thoughts, and much more. We need to move forward according to the instructions given to us by the Holy Spirit. We need to move along the path God orders our steps upon. We need to listen to the silent cries of the hearts of people that God hears every day.

We need to invite Him in all that we do, and all we plan to do for His glory. We need to rely solely on His power and wisdom, and not our own understanding. We need to listen intently for His instruction. We need to Bring Him Down from His dwelling place to come meet us.

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2: Don't Faze Him

I have to be honest. Sometimes it gets scary when I’m challenged about God, but I know my story. He saved me. He healed me. He broke me. He renewed me. And, I’ve come to accept the fact that just because I may not be able to answer some questions (personal or other people’s), that doesn’t change the fact that God is real, and that I did and continue to experience Him and His works.

Maybe it’s just not my lane to eloquently and intelligently debate or argue concerning God and everything Him in this world. Maybe it’s simply my lane to just share my story/ies and let God do the rest to convict others, and also continue to grow me in knowledge and wisdom. Anyway, what exactly am I trying to talk about?

At some point on my journey as a Christian in this world, for some reason I don’t know, the atheism I noticed around me was troubling me. The arguments I heard, even from former Christians who knew their Bible very well were compelling and seemed to make sense, because I didn’t know the answers myself. However, for many, I slowly noticed that they were coming from a place of hurt and disappointment because of reasons such as: God didn’t come through for them like they wanted Him to; They realised the lies or misconceptions they’d lived based on wrong religious teachings and biblical principles taken out of context; And last but not least, the hypocrisy they saw in the church. I wondered, “Have they really come to the conclusion that He doesn’t exist at all, or have they chosen to reject Him, the same way we do to the people around us who’ve caused us pain?” The reasons are many, and unique to every one of them.

I understand when people doubt for their various reasons, and I believe that God has all the answers to all the questions we have, about any and everything. But, those who really troubled me are the ones who made it their life’s mission to take God and Jesus out of this world; the government, the schools, institutions, you name it. It’s always funny to me that they talk about freedom of religion yet fight to prevent people from even mentioning, “Jesus.” It is well known among them that “Christians are very judgmental,” but I wonder what they call it when they talk about the church and mock Christians. I see no difference.

Something I came to notice, however, is that nothing is new under the sun. All of that has been happening since biblical times, and in one way or another, all theories and philosophies that have been developed against God have always been proven wrong.

Only One thing has always remained constant through it all; God. And we get offended and caught up in fighting to defend God, forgetting that none of it is new to Him. None of it fazes Him. He’s always been and always will be above all, no matter what.

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3: Belly Of The Fish

“I AM JONAH,” was the name of the new series we were starting one Sunday at church. It was February 2018, and it had just been a month since I joined my new church, feeling like the first time I ever joined a church, back in 2012. I was an eager spiritual infant looking to feed on new milk, but it turned out God was weaning me off of that. He’d decided it was time for me to starting chewing on meat and bone.

The 2 part series marked the first time I ever felt rebuked by the Lord. The story of Jonah and the lessons it taught us, through the preacher’s revelations, painted the perfect picture of my life. I knew of the story, but it had never really made an impact on me like it did then.

Jonah’s disobedience to God challenged me to look at the areas of my life in which I was disobeying God as well. Jonah trying to escape and go the opposite direction from where God had sent him made me think of all the things I was running away from in my life as well. Jonah being swallowed and stuck in the belly of the fish made me start questioning why I didn’t seem to be making progress in certain aspects of my life. And, Jonah finally repenting and ending up where he was supposed to go in the first place made me reminisce about how my repentance in the past had allowed God to transform and renew me from within.

The two main things in my life that stood out to me that God revealed in those 2 weeks, was my lack of forgiveness towards certain people, and my failed attempts at escaping from confessing to my wife (girlfriend, then) about my secret sin; My addiction to pornography (Click here for the full story). Since then, it has been quite the journey.

Three months later, I finally submitted and confessed to my lady, and it was such a freeing experience, one that I’d have missed out on and ended up causing damage within my marriage if I let it keep growing in the dark. Just like Jonah told the Ninevites exactly what God had instructed him to, and they immediately declared a fast and repented, so did my confession allow God to immediately break my chains and draw me even closer to my wife.

As for the forgiveness, it’s still a journey that I’m on. And I still see a lot of Jonah in me; Just like He was angry with the Lord for forgiving the Ninevites immediately, I find myself wishing those who do wrong to get the punishment or consequences they deserve, and God reminds me of how much I deserve as well, but have been forgiven. Lord, help me!

All in all, the story of Jonah continues to be one that plays a major role in my life today. It reminds me to look within and reflect whenever I get stuck. It reminds me to sit still and listen close to what God is telling me to do in the moment. It challenges me to obey God’s commandment right away. It shows me I can trust that God always has something bigger and better in store than what I have in mind. It tells me that God’s purpose will prevail regardless of my rebellion. I might as well get it over with ASAP, because I’ll end up doing it anyway.

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4: Crossroads

Years ago, there was a hot debate going on, on the youth cell's WhatsApp group I was on. It was a debate between ladies and gentlemen, one that has always been and always will be discussed and argued over and over again among Christians. It was a debate on ladies’ dress code.

I don’t remember how it started, but the ladies were giving their opinion on why they can wear short and tight dresses, mini-skirts and what not. And, the men were giving their reasons as to why they think it’s wrong for the ladies to do so. The ladies saw no problem with showing skin (thighs for the most part), and for those who are blessed with them, their bumps and curves, to look fly. The men on the other hand, quoted scripture arguing how women are to be virtuous and not cause their brothers to fall by dangling meat in plain sight of wolves. The debate was heated, funny and a bit immature if you ask me, now that I’m looking back at it.

For me, it took me back to my relationship with an ex-girlfriend. One of the biggest fights we had concerned the same issue; dress code. It hadn’t been that long since I got saved, and I was still carrying lots of residue from my past sexual life. And no lie, the temptations were still stronger than me then. However, I myself tried to use scripture and all kinds of reasoning to get her to understand that to me, she was worth more than fine legs and all that. In the process, I might have come out as controlling, and that never ends well for anybody, man or woman.

Years later, I still contemplated on how I could have handled the issue better, and the only thing I could come up with was that there was no need to try to impose my views and opinions on her. Walking away probably wouldn't have been an idea, as hard as it is to do so. On the other hand, I was happy with myself for trying to be a better man to her than I was to the other girls I had been with. I was trying to pursue her heart, and not trying to get in her pants. Through experience, sleeping around had never ended well.

What I’d always mistaken for love was lust, and with that, I’d not only left girls heartbroken, but had also added another soul tie to the heavy baggage of sin I was already carrying on my back. Me being a man that had lived a life of sexual sin, and men being visual by nature, all it would take was a little bit of skin or curves to start the cycle. And in that past relationship, I was subconsciously trying to protect the girl from me, and protect me from going back where I’d just been freed from.

So, back to the debate, I could relate to the men because I knew there was much more going on behind the points they were giving out to the ladies. And so I jumped in because of something else I’d been hearing for a while among our sisters in church; “Non-Christian men are the ones pursuing us, but the church ones are not,” “Church men don’t know what they want like these other guys out here,” “Church men don’t got game like them bad boys.” And then the big question, “Why are our church brothers marrying girls from other churches?”

With this in mind, I jumped onto the conversation on WhatsApp and tried to share my opinion as well, trying to make them understand where we many of us men are coming from, and I had to explain, “Ladies, it’s OK. You can wear what you want kabisa. But also understand that for especially a guy who has come from a past of sexual activity, it’s really hard for him to pursue you because the struggle is real. As much as it’s wrong to impose on you what we want, don’t also blame us when we look away from you once we sense the lust slowly rising after setting our eyes on you. Don’t blame our brothers for finding what they needed somewhere else. They’ve been through enough to know where not to tread. It’s not that you’ve done something wrong. It’s just that there are some things we played with that messed us up badly, and looking and walking away is our best option. And by the way, why aren’t you with the guys you claim got game? I’m pretty sure that deep down you know what they’re coming for. If that’s what you really wanted, what stopped you from getting it?”

We all constantly find ourselves at crossroads, where we are faced with decisions that will make or break us, bless or curse us, kill or resurrect us. It’s even harder when it comes to God’s Word and this world’s views, where we’d like the best of both. But some of the things we love about this world, we have to let go of or walk away from to be able to experience full healing, transformation, and blessings with no sorrow attached.

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5: 1st Things 1st

Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added onto you.” It was 2013, and this was my church’s theme verse for that year. I’d just joined and given my life to Christ not less than six months before. As a newbie Christian, I was still somewhat lost because I had no idea how this Jesus thing worked. All I knew deep down was that it worked, and it was light years better than whatever I was doing with my life before.

I'd felt God’s touch, and that confirmed to me His existence. I still remember that day, that feeling. Today, I don’t care what doubts I may have, or how far I might fall in this walk. That one conviction that God was, is and always will be real shall remain rooted in my heart.

I received salvation, but the battle had just begun. God opened up my eyes slowly, day by day, and revealed one thing at a time to me. He showed me how the late nights, the drugs and the sex were chipping away at my soul. He showed me why I needed to repent and turn away from them, and to Him instead. He still does, today. And as I reflect on who I was, and who I am now, I can also say that He showed me who I am, the Gael He’d created. I was far from that.

As I started seeking my purpose on this earth, I’ve learned now that it was crucial to first discover who I was. It was, and still is important to see whom God sees, and know why I came to be. For that to happen, I had to stop pursuing the “good life” that I’d spent years soaking in from the entertainment I so loved, on television and radio. I had to stop focusing on making money, to buy the life I wanted. I had to come to a point of trusting that God already has all I need lined up for me. I had to realize that none of it would mean anything if I didn’t have God in my life.

This makes me think of another verse, Matthew 16:26, which says, “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” I’d gotten a taste of the life I used to pursue, and one thing I saw was that the next morning, I still wasn’t as fulfilled as I thought I’d be. On top of that, I always wondered how wealthy people around me were dying of anxiety, depression, heart attacks and strokes. Yet, they had all one could ever ask for, in abundance. I wondered why one would marry the prettiest and finest of women, and still not keep it in his pants outside of the marriage.

My church, then, having Matthew 6:33 as it’s theme of the year started a life changing decision that continues to prove worthwhile to this day, even though I get carried away every now and then. I stopped pursuing women (after a few damaging breakups….hehehe) and God blessed me with a wife beyond my greatest expectations. I stopped pursuing money, and God showed me my gift and generously blessed the work of my hands. I stopped pursuing status, and God continues to unfold a fulfilling life before me.

I can’t wait to see all that He has in store for me, for He never ceases to surprise me. As a friend of mine likes to say, “God is showing off.” Even though trouble definitely comes every now and then, I know that God has it all under control and it’s all part of the journey. It’s all part of the plan. He always has something up His sleeve…and it’s GOOD. Seek Him first. Seek Him above all. The rest shall follow.

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6: Green Light

In September 2015, I attended a young adult’s camp that I’ll never forget. In fact, it’s the best one I’ve ever experienced yet. About forty of the young adults from my church then, spent a weekend in the northern province of Rwanda in Musanze, a region known for its fairly cold weather and volcanic mountains.

We were accommodated at a catholic owned lodge that sits on a beautiful, green hill overlooking two of the region’s well-known lakes, Burera and Ruhondo. I’ll never forget seeing that view for the first time, from the room I shared with two of my friends. It was the morning after we arrived the previous night. I drew back the curtains at around 6:00 a.m. and I couldn’t help but stare in awe, at the sight of the lakes, with mist floating above them and across the hills around. It was breathtaking.

Anyway, we got ready for our morning devotion, breakfast, and the first session of the camp. We had a moment of praise and worship before our pastor officially welcomed us to the camp, and introduced the speaker of the day; a friend of his who’d served with him years ago when they were much younger. The speaker, also a pastor, started off with a statement that had me nudge my friend beside me with my elbow and told him that we were in for a ride.

He said, “I’m the senior pastor at my church, and it feels like work. When I was a youth pastor, I felt like I was serving.” I had never heard a pastor be so real and vulnerable, and that’s how I knew, "Whatever’s going to come out of his mouth during this camp is going to be life changing." And indeed, it was. He taught us a lesson that I still refer to today, and probably will at certain stages of my life.

Tony, the pastor, introduced us to Genesis 8, which tells the story of when Noah, his family, and all the animals were still in the ark for quite a while after God stopped the rains that flooded the earth for forty days and nights. Tony went on and talked to us about how sometimes in our lives, we tend to go through stages in which we are stuck; stages in which we run and run, but make no step forward; stages in which even those who are walking reach farther than you. It’s like running on a treadmill. Looking at us in that room, one could tell that the message was hitting hard. Everybody could relate in his or her own way.

Connecting this to Genesis 8, he wanted to tell us how in lots of circumstances, it’s better to be still and wait on the Lord’s commandment to move forward, especially if He’s the one who has put you in that position. In Noah’s case, the rains had receded, and it took months before the surface of the ground dried up. Noah saw this, but still didn’t make a move out of the ark. On top of that, God had gone silent on Him. And then finally, after the earth was completely dry, God spoke to Noah and told him to come out of the ark, along with his family and every creature he had in there.

As the sermon got closer to the end, it became more interesting as Tony challenged us to think about how crucial it was for Noah to wait on the Lord’s command to leave the ark, because he could have done so the moment he saw that the surface of the ground was dry. Why did God not give him the command at that time? Why did He have to wait another two months before giving Noah the green light?

Tony asked us, “ When it rains at night, the surface of the ground could be dry, right? What about when we dig it just a little? What do we find underneath? Mud. Now, imagine how wet the earth must have been after forty days and nights of flooding. Even though the ‘surface’ was dry, the ground beneath must have still been extremely wet and muddy. With that in mind, what do you think would have happened if Noah let all the animals out then?” It hit us. The animals, especially the heavier ones, would have sunk in immediately, probably to their death. And, God’s whole plan would have been wasted. Although, He knows all including who to trust. That’s why He entrusted Noah with the assignment. He knew that he wouldn't make a move without seeking His consent first.

The same goes with us in our daily lives. So many times do we rush and make decisions that sabotage our lives, plans and much more. We sink in the detrimental consequences of our choices because the ground looked dry, and we didn’t consult with God or wait on Him to see if it was OK to move forward. In other cases, God Himself has to restrain or block us from rushing into deep mud, and we get frustrated with Him. Meanwhile, we don’t think that maybe we need to keep tending to whatever He has already entrusted us with. It’s not mentioned in the Bible, but it’s safe to assume that while waiting on the Lord, Noah must have continued feeding and taking care of the animals.

It does get hard to not make moves when God isn’t speaking. But the truth of the matter is that there’s always a perfect reason why, and there’s a much bigger purpose behind it all. When it seems like we’re going nowhere, or we’re bumping into walls, it would be a great idea to keep tending to whatever He has already entrusted us with while we wait for His instruction to take the next step forward.

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7: What You Got

In January 2017, I decided to fast for twenty-one days.  It would be my first time to go that long. The most I’d gone was a week, or probably less unless my memory serves me well. The decision came after weeks of contemplation and hearing God’s whisper somewhere amongst the noise in my head, telling me to do so. By January, I was convicted. And so, it all began.

I didn’t know if I’d make it, but I was determined to go all the way. I was desperate for a word from God. No one or nothing else would be capable of watering the desert my life had become. I was lost and wandering day by day, not knowing where I was going, and where to go.

On the third day of the fast, I was seated at a cafeteria/bakery with my laptop. I don’t remember what I was doing, but I was too focused to even get tempted by the smell of the warm delicious pastries on display. In came a friend I met with there occasionally, and he decided to join me at my table. We started with the conversations we always had, right away.

I told him what was going on with me, and he listened before giving me his thoughts. He, like so many others who know me, knew how I loved music and how it was a big part of my dreams, if not the dream itself. He told me, “I like your songs. You are a good rapper. But that’s not your main strength.” I got defensive and replied, “What are you talking about? That’s my gift. I’ve had it since I was a little boy.” He told me, “No. That’s not your gift. Trust me.” I didn’t understand it. I knew he knew music very well, so how could he not see it. Then, he dropped it, “The thing I love the most about your music is your lyrics. You write very well. That’s your gift.”

That hit me, before he continued, “Music is just a piece of the bigger picture. Think about it. Writing is translated into it, just as it can be translated into poetry, blogging and eventually books. Think of it as scattering your seeds on different fields. Try them all out. You never know on which one they might grow.” That had me thinking out loud, “Daang! That’s so true. Even as a kid, the only homework from school I got excited about was English composition, in which I’d just write stories off the top of my head. I loved it.”

“See,” he said. “And you have so many stories to tell and we need to read more of them. In fact, have you ever thought of blogging?” “Yes, I have, for a while actually,” I replied. “Good. Tonight, I need you to write your first blog. And, I’ll need you to blog every day after that.”

I agreed to start but, “Okaay…Hold your horses bruh! I don’t answer to you,” I thought. However, that night I did write my first blog post and I was instantly hooked. The rest of my twenty-one day fast was all about blogging, blogging, and blogging. And the response from my readers just proved what my friend had said. Also, it was God’s way of affirming and validating what He wanted me to do. That’s exactly what He did when I wrote my first rhymes after I received Jesus Christ in my life.

Since then, door after door just kept opening, and soon after, I was starting to get paid for doing what I love. The biggest breakthrough came last year, when I was asked to ghostwrite my first book project. It didn’t take me long to remember my friend’s words, “Writing is translated into it, just as it can be translated into poetry, blogging and eventually books.”

I’ll never forget my first twenty-one fast. God revealed to me what I had in my hand all along. And just like Moses, He used what I’d never seen as powerful to open doors for me just like He parted the red sea with Moses’ staff. He is good. He is sovereign. And, He has given each and every one of us something to use on this earth for His glory. It may look small to us, but remember, He can create something out of nothing. The seeds He planted in each of us are all He needs, and if we allow Him to water them and breathe on them, they grow into trees so fruitful than we can ever imagine.

Today, God has taken me deeper and showed me what exactly He wants me do with the gift He blessed me with; Simply tell of His works in my life and those around me. And, I’m happy to do so. Storytelling’s what I’ve always done anyway. That’s how He raised me.

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8: Silent Scream

I'm here wondering why I don't remember the details of this story. Maybe it's because a few years have gone by since I typed a few of the lyrics of this song on my Evernote app. The more I listen to the words though, a few vivid memories come to my mind, but without much else.

I can only remember the season I was in at the time. It was in November 2016, two months before I took the 21 day fast that shifted the direction of my life. It was a dry season, spiritually and emotionally, and the only place I felt safe in was my room. I didn't really think of it then, but looking back, I can say I was depressed. Also, I was afraid to step out, again, spiritually and emotionally. The only faith I had was based on the fact that I had no other choice or way forward. The only person I could open up to was God, and not with my voice through prayers, but through writing. Three years later, the song was recorded. I wasn't even planning to, but it seems God had plans for it. And, the story of how it came to be is what I'd like to share.

It was on one of the best weekends I've had in my life, starting from August 30th through September 2nd. On Friday August 30th, I had my show, sharing my stories and the new songs that were to be recorded for my album. My producer and mentor came with his team to support. They were our (my wife and I) guests and the house we were blessed with had a studio in it. My producer, Jhey-Dot needed to only bring his computer and mixer.

We went to church on Sunday November 1st, and the plan after was to look for a location to shoot a video for one of my songs on the album. After that, was to head home, take a nap and start recording. As we drove around Kigali, Jhey started playing some of his new beats. A few minutes later, he said, "Gael. I think you're gonna like this one." I was like, "Aight! Play it," with excitement. And no lie, it was love at first sound. It was the type of beat that takes me places, no vocals needed, and I was filled with goosebumps (That's how I normally know when my soul is touched).

I had to tell him, "Play that beat again." And he did. I listened more closely and heard a distant scream in the background and immediately remembered the notes I wrote back in 2016. "Yo B," I exclaimed, "I think I got a song for this. Guess what it's called. Silent Scream." We just started laughing, because for the most part of our relationship, God had been messing with us like that. We decided to add it to the list of songs we had to record within the next 24 hours. What blew our minds even more moments later, was what I found when I searched for the document to show him what I was talking about. At the bottom of it, I'd typed the vision of the song. It said, among other things, "A beat with a voice like Mariah Carey in the background mimicking a scream." I don't remember writing that. We were at a loss of words, but we both knew, "Yeah! We're definitely doing this."

After a long evening of recording 4 songs, we crashed and woke up the next morning, Monday September 2nd, ready to record some more. After breakfast, I got some headphones, and my phone, and went and sat outside by myself. I opened my Evernote app and got to finish writing the song I'd started three years ago. However, I had only one verse. I thought...No! God reminded me of yet another draft I'd randomly written at a period of time beyond my memory. I searched for it and found it. I read it and it fit perfectly into Silent Scream. Maan! I practiced with excitement until I got the flow on point and headed into the studio and said, "I'm ready."

We were done recording in less than half an hour and I couldn't help but thank God for giving me the strength, because I was exhausted that weekend. However, we had no hook, and I was totally blank. I couldn't think of anything, but it didn't take long before Jhey said, "I know the person for this hook. Brenda," as he turned to the friends he'd come with. Obviously they knew her too because they nodded in approval. "She's a worship leader at her church, and her testimony blends in with this song."

And so, Brenda got to write and record her hook and bridge after the team got back to Jo'burg, a few days later.

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9: Faithful

I believe the year 2017 is the one in which God revealed His faithfulness to me clearer than He ever had before. Again, the 21 day fast I took that January was life changing.

Among the things I prayed for was a producer who shared the same heart as mine to make music that glorifies God, and that being his primary motivation to work with me. I'd worked with other producers, but I always found myself unfulfilled even if we'd made good music together. With some of them, I started projects that we were unable to finish. It had all left me demotivated, but God still had plans.

For those who know, I'd always wanted to go to Zambia and God provided a way, in a way only He can (I can never cease to be amazed whenever He shows up when I manage to let go and just let Him be Him). I was so convicted that I'd go to Zambia in December, but the way my bank account was set up said otherwise...but God! I was at a birthday party one Saturday afternoon in October, when I met a friend who happens to be one of Uganda's top Gospel DJs. We were catching up when I told him how I wanted to go to Zambia in about two months. He replied, "I'm planning to go there too. There's a youth camp I'm to attend. If you'd like, I could add you to the list as part of my entourage." You can only imagine the explosion of excitement that overcame me...for a bit...because the way my bank account was set up...!!!

I had to remind myself to leave it in God's hands, which I did. One month later, towards the end of November, I was tagged on a Facebook post, "We're looking for an event blogger to cover the upcoming East African Youth Leadership Summit in Arusha, Tanzania. Send us a sample of your work if interested." And so I did, and a few days later, the decision was made in my favour. I was in Arusha four days later, but they made it clear that I was coming in as a volunteer and I wasn't going to be paid for the work. That was fine by me. I was happy to gain some experience and connections, so I went there with a mind set on excellence. It paid off. On the last evening of the summit, my boss summoned me and led me to the finance office where I signed a contract. I was getting paid, and the amount was exactly what I needed to fly me to Zambia.

One week later, I was on my way, filled with excitement and not knowing what to expect. My Ugandan DJ friend, Paul had cancelled but put me in touch with one young lady from Kigali who was heading to the camp as well. Our flight from Kigali to Addis Ababa was delayed, and as a result, we missed our connecting flight. The airport there was chaotic, as close to twenty other Ethiopian Airlines flights had been delayed in the same way, and thousands of other passengers had missed their connecting flights as well. We had to spend the night squeezing and pushing through crowds of angry people to get new tickets to our respective destinations, then sleep on whatever comfortable spot we could find, be it on the benches, or on the floor. On top of that, when we finally landed in Lusaka the next afternoon, we still had another three hour journey by road to the central province where the camp was to take place. It was exhausting.

However, while we waited for our host to come pick us up at the bus stop when we finally arrived, the lady I was with showed me a video of another rapper who was announcing his attendance at the camp. I was like, "Niiice!" I was happy that I'll get to meet another rapper. Few minutes later, I met him. Our host drove us to the motel we were to stay in, and we were given rooms next door to each other.

The next day, I saw him perform and we got to hang out for most of the day. That night, I got to share some of my music with him, and my journey as well. And what he said at some point caught my attention. He said, looking at his roommate, a friend of his, "Artists like Gael need producers...." I don't quite remember the rest of the words, but I do remember that every word was exactly what I'd said to God when praying for a producer, word for word. Jhey, my producer, then started playing some of his beats, and after a short while, one of them caught my attention.

The guitar immediately gave me goosebumps. He saw that I loved it and gave me headphones to listen to it better. Maan....it hit me hard, and right away I started singing under my breath, "You're faithful. You're faithful. You're faithful!" In that moment, my spirit was expressing nothing but awe as I realised what God had been doing all this time. In that moment, I knew why I knew I had to go to Zambia. I put the headphones down and told Jhey, "I ain't asking. This beat is mine."

God is faithful y'all. He always has been, always will be!!! I look back at the events that lead to this moment; My first album is finally out. So many things that happened over the past years led to this. I'm glad I just kept on moving forward, despite the times I felt like giving up. I'm glad I embarked on this journey and refused to go back. I'm thankful that I kept on loving what came to me naturally, and that's my love for writing and music. It's a seed that God planted in me, and I honestly don't see myself outside of my area of interests, the area in which I feel most alive. My whole life, I was on the wrong path for me, and Yeah, it never ever worked like it is now.

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10: Surrounded

"It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by You," the song goes. The story behind the song, Surrounded (Fight my battles) by Upperroom is amazing and one I can relate to, to some extent.  As I listened to its sample on the beat my producer and mentor had sent me, with that phrase playing, I reminisced on how far God had brought me ever since I left for the US to pursue my dreams in 2013, only to bring me back where I started from a year later (Get the full story here), having not accomplished anything I'd set out to accomplish.

It was devastating, frustrating and confusing. I was disappointed in God and questioned myself, wondering what I'd done wrong for God to decide to change the course of the life I'd believed for. Even though I still chose to trust Him, as hard as it was, it still felt like my faith had been exercised for nothing. I was still at a point where I had no other choice but to still exercise it, because I hadn't seen that coming at all. Coming back was not an option to me, but God held me firmly by the hand and dragged me back.

I thank Him though, for still giving me strength to continue. It always looked like there was nothing ahead for me, and that trouble and failure was my portion (Maybe that's how some of us have to learn to keep moving forward no matter what. Sometimes, we literally have no other choice). On the other hand, whenever I looked back, I could see that not once did I ever lack a roof over my head, or food on my plate. Every time a door closed, there was another one open right next to it. Whenever things didn't go how I wanted or expected them to go, there was always a plan B that I never laid out myself. And every moment, every stage of my life led to where I am today. God has been good. He has always been there providing, protecting, forgiving, encouraging, motivating and pushing me forward.

With that, I think of the following verse: 2 Kings 6: 15 When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early in the morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. So he asked Elisha, “Oh, my master, what are we to do?” 16“Do not be afraid,”Elisha answered,“for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” 17 Then Elisha prayed, “O LORD, please open his eyes that he may see.” And the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw that the hills were full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.…

The devil will always make noise ("roaring" lion) and do what he can to scare us off the narrow path God leads us through, because he knows where we're heading and he wants to make sure we don't get there. He knows he can take advantage of our blindness and show us large armies ready to attack us when in reality, God's chariots and horses of fire are also around us. No weapon formed against us shall prosper, right? That's God's promise. And since faith is evidence of things "unseen",  we can rest on that promise. Seeing the enemy's chariots surrounding us doesn't mean we are not protected. Not seeing God's army around us doesn't mean it's not there. May God open our eyes!

Our victory's in Jesus' name!!!

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