Flee If You Have To - Bad Company Corrupts Good Character

 

It's a new year, new decade, and I'm looking forward to what God has in store. I'm also looking back at the lessons I learned that have made me even more excited for what's to come. However, some of them have left me with a bit of sadness inside.

See, God has always been good, but walking in His ways and growing more and more in Him will gradually renew your mind, transform your heart and build you more and more into His image. Becoming more like Him means you'll be more loving, compassionate, merciful, empathetic, caring, considerate,...and also less tolerant to sin and its effects. One will begin to hate it, especially one who's been bound by it and has experienced its consequences. Or, one who has witnessed someone else suffer its consequences. It does not just affect the person committing it, but also the closest people around him/her.

One of the sins that enrage me the most is that of adultery. Having cheated in some of my past relationships only adds to the fire because of the pain it can cause. It's such a norm now that many have accepted it as part of life, particularly marriage. It's a bondage that has affected generations, and gets only worse with the next one. It's something many have witnessed with their own parents, and so it's the perceived blueprint grown up with. As much as we accept it, we can't deny its devastating effects on the individuals involved. Thank God for Jesus though, and the cross. Adultery is one of the things He came to deliver us from, and restore marriage to the beautiful purpose for which it was intended.

Adultery is not an easy curse to break though, mostly especially for men. And with the crazy amount of perverted sex we are easily exposed to from an early age, it becomes quite the battle to subdue our flesh. So, we really have to be careful what we feed our eyes and ears, and the company we keep. It gets even harder when those wanting to make a change realise that one of the ways to do so is to sacrifice being in the company of the friends, and even family members who'd influence and encourage the behaviour. In different scenarios, they themselves are avoided and even mocked for the shift in their hearts. It's such a harsh reality to deal with, because it rarely plays out well. You can legit get hated in many cases, even by your closest ones.

I was fortunate to have some of my old friends understand me and actually cheer me on to this day, since I gave my life to Christ. However, I was once in a situation that created a stinging rift between me and one of my closest boys. I witnessed him cheating on his girl, and he seemed to have no remorse about it at all. Maybe he did but didn't show it. I tried to challenge him and ask how he'd feel if his wife did the same to him. A dude's pride and ego would be shattered and most probably wouldn't hesitate to dump the girl and what not. What made things even worse between us, and pissed me off the most, was him trying to convince me not to mention it to my wife, with the argument that she'd tell somebody who'd tell somebody until word got to his girl and cause unnecessary problems.

"There's no way I'm lying to my wife about why I'm walking away from this," I told him. The thing is, I'd witnessed the same thing years ago and though I didn't approve of it, I let it slide. But his girl is also my girl, if you know what I mean. I got love for her like I have love for him. I'm not sure I can bear pretending like I know nothing when I see them again together, especially if she hasn't found out by then, and most especially if it's something he's not willing to do what it takes to turn away from. One can only try to reason with the other, but if it falls on deaf ears, love and prayers can be sent...from a distance. I didn't figure how much deeper my decision to walk away went, until I thought about it further. I'd probably been perceived as a tattletale, but this was about protecting my character and my own marriage at all costs.

I thought about all the different scenarios that lead to such bondages, how we get influenced by our surroundings, particularly the people we spend time with and all that. In this specific case, I realised that by me allowing it and keeping it to myself would be like opening the door to it being a norm and accepting it the more I get to see it. By keeping it to myself, it would open the door to me keeping a lot more from my wife. It would mean that if I messed up badly, it would be OK as long as she didn't know. All it takes is one compromise, and every time we convince ourselves that it's just one, we forget that one plus one, plus one, plus one, plus many more ones will lead to a pile of one big mess that will eventually come crashing down.

As I thought about all this, a bell rang loud, "That's one of the ways bad company can corrupt good character. All corruption needs is a way in."

1 Corinthians 15:33: "Do not be misled/fooled. Bad company corrupts good character."

God help us!!!