Battles of the Flesh - What are you feeding?

 

Is it just me or does every new year pass by faster than the last? It's crazy how so much can happen, how many lessons can be learned, or even how much time can be wasted, in little time. Also, it's crazy how we can get caught up and forget to take a minute to breathe, relax and just reflect on what has been, so as to prepare for what's to come.

The year has already come to an end, and fortunate ones are enjoying the festive season with family and friends, food and drink. Alarm clocks have been turned off indefinitely, people won't get fired for going to work late on the last few days. Diet plans have been thrown out the window, it's a cheat week. And, new year's resolutions are being drafted and what not, some that were already made in the past year.

Now, I'm not so big with new year's resolutions. I usually don't get to fulfil most of them. Some I fail to, and others I may shift focus from according to some of life's unexpected seasons. Last week however, God spoke to me and confirmed the changes I need to make in this coming year.

A week and a half ago, I got to minister/perform at a youth conference for three days. I'd missed serving like that and almost forgot the contentment that came with it; a joy that can only come from living out your purpose and doing what you love to do for a cause bigger than you. Among the speakers was a pastor and friend that I love and learn a lot from every time I get the chance to be around him. With such unique humour, he preached particularly on Romans 7: 21-25:

²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Verse 21 instantly took me back to the days I tried to quit smoking weed. It always puzzled me how at night I'd resolve that I was done, then find the pusha walking along my street the next morning as soon as I stepped out of the gate. He'd be coming from getting a fresh supply of weed. "Gayeri," he'd shout out with a wide grin as soon as he saw me, "Mfite giga (gigabyte) man. Sans graines (No seeds)." For those who don't know, getting a pusha with a new batch meant you got the biggest chunk of best quality, seedless goodies. This happened not once, not twice, and not thrice. It happened every single time I was bent on quitting. On "normal" days, it was different. I'd always seek doctor for my medication. How was that not the devil setting the right traps to catch me on my way out? But I thank God. He made it happen and I'm five years free now.

So, the pastor went on and taught on what it took to walk in the Spirit and live a righteous and godly life despite evil being right there beside us. He talked about how going to church and reading your Bible once a week, on Sunday only has no effect on our spiritual lives. He shared studies/facts which showed that more spiritual transformation happened to those who sought God and read their Bibles three to more times a week. As he concluded, he asked us, "What are you feeding?"

It was a question that confirmed what I'd been meditating a lot on lately, and this is how I confirmed God had been whispering to me. He always speaks to me this way. I'll "think" it then He'll use others to confirm through words. I came across that question 2 more times, a few more days after the conference; one from TD Jakes' new sermon (always TD Jakes for the past three years) and the other from a close friend. The message was loud and clear.

It took me back to 2011, when God had started stirring it up in my spirit and started me on the journey to receive Him. He showed me how, for example, all the music I listened to affected my speech, perspective and behaviour. Women were referred to as b****es, they were treated as objects for sexual gratification, and so that's how I viewed and treated many of the ones around me, particularly those who portrayed the ones I saw in the videos. What I pursued was shaped by what I consumed everyday through the media that I loved so much. And so, I was far from the path God had carved out for me before He created me, the very reason for my existence.

As soon as I got saved, I wiped out my whole iTunes library and started filling it with music with better content. The LOVE the new rappers and singers I started listening to talked about was a world apart from the LUST that I perceived as love I was accustomed to. The content they shared about God, their manhood, wives and marriages help/ed shape/d the man I am today. However, evil is still right there with me and I still have a long way to go. I believe God's been preparing me, like He was then, for another season of transformation. He's shown me some of the beloved TV shows I watch that I have to say farewell to...sniff. I get it though. Some of the things that entertain me, I wouldn't stand for even for a second. I don't condone them so why consume them in the first place? It's hypocritical of me.

What we do and how we do them are the fruit of what we've been feeding on, I've been reminded. We're all shaped by our environment, society, norms...what we consume daily. I want to experience God on a whole new level. I want Him to reveal to me more of the secrets concerning what He created me for. I want to be a great man. I want to be a great husband to my wife. I want to be a great father to my future children. I want to be a great role model to those around me. I want to have the impact God made me for. And so my new year's resolution is to up my spiritual diet, with no cheat days. May all I pray for be the fruit of it. May God help me!!!

 I wish you the same.